Getting Smart In His Old Age

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The other day the husband let me in on a little secret.

He said after many years, he has finally figured me out.

He believes that…

When I call him and I start out with “hey” it means something is not going my way and he needs to play Captain Save-A-Mom.

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Or if I start the call off by saying “hi” it means I’m up to no good (aka want to spend lots of money).

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But if it’s just a “hello” then it means I’m in the mood to just chat.

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Sending me on unsupervised trips to Costco, Target, BevMo!, etc will result in purchases of several items not on the shopping list.

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I will not get out of bed on a weekend before 9am if there is not a coffee from Starbucks (or Purple Bean a local coffee shop) on the night stand waiting for me.

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Now that he has let me in on these little secrets of wisdom he has figured out I think it’s time to switch things up a bit.

But what should I do….?

Maybe I should drink a Cowgirl Razzberry-Tini while I think about. 

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Hi and welcome! My name is Jessica Torres and I'm a homeschooling mom of two adorably insane girls on the path to greener living. I'm also self declared iPhone addict and lover of all things Apple. When not attached to my kids, my iPhone, or my laptop, you can find me creating cocktail recipes. Subscribe by RSS Feed or by email to join in the fun over here.

Latest posts by Jessica Torres (see all)

77 Responses to Getting Smart In His Old Age

  1. Alison@Mama Wants This
    Twitter: AlisonSWLee
    says:

    I’m sure there’s more to you than that…….. my husband hasn’t really figured me out. Well, at least that’s what he makes me think.

    Hmmmmm…………
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..It’s a Baby Shower!

  2. Grandmother says:

    When he’s also figured out his mother and mother-in-law he may be on to something.

  3. angela says:

    This made me giggle.

    Hi. Let’s go shopping :)
    angela recently posted..Sunshine and Sprinkles

  4. He broke the number one rule of marriage- never reveal your secrets unless you want to have them exploited! Okay, not the number one rule, but he’s just ASKING for you to switch things up, lol.
    Laural Out Loud recently posted..My Husband Just Proved That He Was Born In The Wrong Decade

  5. Kimberly
    Twitter: KimberlyAMuro
    says:

    He doesn’t have this figured out after all. He should know by now that you don’t reveal your secrets.
    Kimberly recently posted..What Else Could Go Wrong?

  6. Sharon {Grumpy, Sleepy, and Bashful}
    Twitter: SharonPfeiffer
    says:

    Silly boy! Doesn’t he know there’s no secret? We change on a daily basis. What he thinks he knows now will be different next week. And, that’s the way we like it!

    By the way, I need to institute a rule of no getting out of bed without Starbucks waiting for me. THAT is the best thing I’ve heard all day!
    Sharon {Grumpy, Sleepy, and Bashful} recently posted..Delaying Kindergarten, Is It Right For US?

  7. Karin @Mommy's Paradise
    Twitter: mommysparadise
    says:

    So he thinks he has figured it out? Let him think he did. You know and I know that it’s pretty impossible for a member of the dude-society to really understand what females are thinking. He may be up to some surprises in the future with three ladies at his side. :-)
    Karin @Mommy’s Paradise recently posted..Wordless{ish} Wednesday – There is a bear on the island

  8. Barbara
    Twitter: babspinfrance
    says:

    This is too funny. My husband claims to have figured me out but hasn’t. I keep letting him think he’s right…
    Barbara recently posted..Blogging…shmlogging

  9. Lady Estrogen
    Twitter: ladyestrogen
    says:

    Haha. My question is WHY would he reveal this information to you!! He just lost a valuable playing card. Silly magician- never reveal your tricks! :)

  10. Galit Breen
    Twitter: galitbreen
    says:

    Hee! Love this, you!
    Galit Breen recently posted..The 17 Day Diet Cycle 3

  11. Susi
    Twitter: bocafrau
    says:

    Lol. Just let him think he’s right. Isn’t that what all women do… I let mine think, he’s right all the time. Makes him feel good!!! :)
    Susi recently posted..I’m baking… Thursdays #1 ~ Cream Puffs

  12. Natalie
    Twitter: corp2domestic
    says:

    Ha ha he’s got you pegged! Looks like you need to throw him some curve balls!
    Natalie recently posted..The Neighbor Drama Saga Continues…

  13. Tonya says:

    So cute. I love the photos too!

    Our husbands know us a lot better than we give them credit for, huh?
    Tonya recently posted..Laughter Is My Only Good Advice

  14. marie says:

    Love it, he’s a smart one huh, only 13 years. After 16 years what I’ve figured out with Glenn is when we’re alone I do most of the talking and in a group he does the talking. The more people there are the more he comes alive.
    marie recently posted..Grandma Mitchell

    • Jessica Torres says:

      It seems to be the same with me and my husband. I’m always quite in the group setting and he isn’t.

  15. Hahaha!!! That’s too funny. I think I do the same with my husband too ;)
    Runnermom-jen recently posted..Happy Things

  16. Eve
    Twitter: EverythingEvie
    says:

    Haha, that’s awesome. My hubby is getting wise to me too…oh snap.

  17. I’m not going to let my husband read this. Because I don’t think he’s put together these things about me yet. But I know that I do them too.

    And yes, you have to change them now! Just to throw him off.
    Natalie @MamaTrack recently posted..That’s Not Me

  18. Elena
    Twitter: elenawollborg
    says:

    He is getting smart! You should have different greetings from now on – just to throw him off his tracks. ;)

    p.s. That pic of the ‘crazy in need of saving mom’ – your guns rock. Can I have your arm muscles?

    I feel like Bev Mo is a store out west that needs to make its way east.
    Elena recently posted..Adventure Boys

    • Jessica Torres says:

      Those guns are the result of carrying around Layla for the last almost 3 years.

      BevMo isn’t in Nevada but every time I go to Cali I have to visit the store and stock up.

  19. For the record, a Cowgirl Razzberry-tini is never a bad idea…

    In fact, I’m going to make a list of things I need to think about, too.
    julie gardner recently posted..Today call me bad

  20. Emmy
    Twitter: Emmymom2
    says:

    Love these pictures! Isn’t it nice having someone that knows you so well.

  21. Carri
    Twitter: carribrown
    says:

    So… you start every conversation with “hi”?
    Carri recently posted..In My Glass: Cowgirl Razzberry-Tini

  22. My Inner Chick
    Twitter: krrobi
    says:

    Beautiful, Insighful, & Hilareous.

    How can you do that all in one post? Xxx
    My Inner Chick recently posted..How To Become A Rockstar Blogger

  23. Erin
    Twitter: UniquelyEN
    says:

    Ha! Ha! You totally have to throw him a curve ball. It’s against girl code to let him think he’s got you figured out :)
    Erin recently posted..4 year old Hippo Birthday

  24. Elaine
    Twitter: elainea
    says:

    So, what does it mean when you start by saying, “Hey baby…” Or maybe you don’t do that. That would be a good change. ;)
    Elaine recently posted..Out Back

  25. I love that he has been thinking about your words!
    JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Read.Explore.Learn. The Big Wish and Tissue Box Challenge Winners

  26. Elizabeth
    Twitter: mommonsenseblog
    says:

    Coffee on the nightstand? Smart man! Very smart man!
    Elizabeth recently posted..In the Dog House!

  27. Julie says:

    It’s really very sweet that he pays enough attention to understand what your greetings mean. Over the years, I’ve learned if my husband calls me from work before noon, I should answer the phone, “What’s wrong?”

    Also, you guys are some good-looking folks.
    Julie recently posted..Dear Scrumplet

  28. Jessica says:

    Every time my husband says he has me figured out he is usually totally off or at least I tell him he is. Love those pics of you, especially the last one. I can’t believe I haven’t visited in ages. I’ve been a terrible blog-reader lately. Sorry!
    Jessica recently posted..Two More Days

    • Jessica Torres says:

      Ha! I like that you tell him he is off on figuring you out.

      Don’t apologize, I’ve been a bad blog reader lately too. Life gets in the way.

  29. Mirjam
    Twitter: applesndroses
    says:

    Hahaha! The problem with men is that they think they can figure us out, then brag about it and that is where they go wrong!
    Mirjam recently posted..Extravagant

  30. Shell says:

    So funny that he thinks he has you all figured out.

    I wonder if my tells are like that. I know that when I need something, I call Hubs and immediate ask “Are you in town?”
    Shell recently posted..Things They Can’t Say about Blogging

  31. Husband
    Twitter: wordpressu
    says:

    Who your callin’ old there Mrs.?!
    Husband recently posted..Hello world!

  32. Teresa
    Twitter: TeresaThinks
    says:

    I think it is so special that he knows you that well. When I call my husband and I’m in a bad mood, he goes “What are you ON?!” LOL!
    Teresa recently posted..lost and found

  33. Jen {at} take2mommy
    Twitter: take2mommy
    says:

    I think it’s sweet that he’s figured out a few things about you. I wish my huz would tune in to me a little more!
    I made a vodka drink a couple days ago – first time in many years. I thought of you, of course :) I don’t think the drink is worthy enough to be featured on One Martini at a Time, but huz and I thought it was yummy.
    Jen {at} take2mommy recently posted..Hilarious Headlines in The Duane Reader Inspire Be Nice to Husband Night

  34. Jessica says:

    This is such an awesome post! I think all men get smarter with time. My husband is starting to figure me out, finally, after all these years!

  35. No matter what they think or say, men will never really figure us out.

    But I think it’s sweet that he is trying :)
    The Pepperrific Life recently posted..On a Magic Carpet Ride: A Whole New World of Carpet Cleaning

  36. Julia
    Twitter: juliahembree
    says:

    This is so sweet! In a cute and funny way. I love that he thinks he has you figured out. Switching it up is a good idea. :)
    Julia recently posted..Button Up My Buttons Babe

  37. Leighann says:

    I need to know what you’re doing to get a coffee on the night stand on the weekend!!
    Leighann recently posted..“Love Your Face”

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